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Then and Now. I Just Realized I’m Not 25 Anymore…!

janeraleigh

 

Last Sunday we celebrated my older sister’s 40th birthday. Although I had an absolute blast, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that soon, I would also be turning 40…ugh!  In her speech, my sister said that it was hard for her to imagine being that age. In fact, it’s hard for all of us. In 5 years I will be 40 too. That almost seems impossible, because I still feel like 25! I guess the reality is that although it doesn’t feel like things have changed, many things have.

Then…

At 25 I was a new wife and a new mom. My husband and I had been married a little over a year and we had our precious little Sofia to complete our family. Back then, I was always thinking about doing things right. I wanted to be the best wife, best mother, be the best daughter in law, best sister and  be the best at my job.  I had many challenges and I made mistakes, I couldn’t let them go. Overall, I am proud of the way I handled my life, my challenges and my expectations.

 

Now…

At age 35, I’m a not so new wife, married almost 12 years and a mother of 3. I still work, but I am an entrepreneur and more focused on helping others than moving up the ladder. I still want to be the best mother, and on occasion, the best wife, sorry, I do have 3 kids! My expectations of / for others…slim. I’ve realized that just because a relationship is important to you doesn’t mean it’s important to other people. Or, because you have high expectations for someone it doesn’t mean they have high expectations for themselves. It’s not about what other people do or how they act. It’s about what I do and how I react.

I still put forth 100% effort into everything I do but with more knowledge and experience behind it.  I have solid beliefs, but know there’s so much more to learn. I try to limit my opinions, unless asked or I am ranting to my husband. I am focused on giving my kids a great life and building my business. I am self confident and self aware. I make mistakes, I still don’t let them go.  I’m kind until you’re not, then I move on.

At age 25 I would hang on to relationships, jobs, people, everything,  trying to make them / it better. Now, it’s about me. A decade later I am building the life that I saw for myself back then (actually as a child) with the kind of people and purpose I saw in it. Frankly, I don’t give a damn. And, I like it.  My life by design requires me to be surrounded by people that respect me, inspire me, make me laugh and love my kids. Personally, I don’t think that is too much to ask for, but if it is?…we’re probably not friends. Can’t wait for 40!

 

Celebrating Martin Luther King Day

soundwavesMLK

 

Martin Luther King day always leaves me with mixed emotions. On one hand I am so moved by Dr. King and all of the people who were a part of the civil rights movement but on the other hand, I get overwhelmed by sadness thinking about the kind of world they lived in versus the kind of world we live in now.

To celebrate the day, I used to volunteer. Now to celebrate, I spend time with my children, out in the community at the Kelly Strayhorn MLK event. I love this event because it’s geared toward children, the arts and the community.

I spent some time earlier in the day listening to Kings speeches with my girls. The “I Have a Dream” speech from the March on Washington and his last speech before his assassination. I cried. Actual tears. I heard both of those speeches a thousand times, but today, I cried. Thinking about that world, this world, his strength, my children, and the experiences I’ve had. I cried.

There was so much hate back then. But there is so much racism today. There is still so much work to do.

On this day people are hopeful, happy and celebratory. We all love Dr. King, his messages and his story. For me, I think about my message, my story and my impact. How will I make the world a little bit better for my children, all children. The truth is…I’m not sure. The real truth is, I’m going to try. I know for a fact I’m not racist. I know for a fact I don’t hate. I know for a fact that I judge others based on the content of their character. I’m blessed to think that way.

Happy Martin Luther King Day. Continue to live as though the fight is not over. Continue to focus on his dream. Our dream.