Tag Archives: relationships

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6 (Stolen) Words of Wisdom for 2016

I am a person with great self confidence, but I’m also very self aware. I want to be my best self and everyday I learn and grow. I consider myself smart enough to know that I am not done learning and strong enough to understand I can be better. Once you’re open to self improvement and growth, you find that there are lessons everywhere. Whether it’s a story in the newspaper or a blog, whether it’s taught by a scholar or you learn from a friend. The lessons are everywhere. You just have to listen and give others your respect and attention. 

So, what words of wisdom am I carrying into 2016?  

1. “Don’t tell them, show them” – Sarah Zeffiro, Artist

Sometimes people just cannot understand what they do not know or have never seen. 

2. “Those who know better, should do better and sometimes, will suffer more for it” – Marilyn Solomon, My Mother

3. “Always try to believe in everything and everyone, even if it seems hard” – Stella Pugliano, 8

4. “We are all more connected than we think” – Cara Bessko, Yoga Instructor

5. “When we give our money to a cause or to help someone, our time, or our talents, we give gold. Like the wisemen gave to Jesus” – Father Tony, Pastor

6. “My God loves me, my God loves you” -David Pugliano 

Treat others well, no matter what, because they are also children of God. But also remember others must treat you well because you are a child a God. 

All of these quotes rang in my ears when I heard them and I’m using these words as I move into this new year. The only advice I would add, for now, is “start with family,” that’s where everything begins and ends. I wouldn’t do anything for a stranger that I would not do for my family. Once they are ok, I know I can move on. 

Happy New Year!

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My Stylish Weekend…Planned

First of all, I can’t possibly discuss the remainder of the week and plans for the weekend without sharing details about the incredible night I had. Last night I was awarded with a Style Award for “Best Dressed.” This award is given to an individual with a successful career who is involved in the community but known for their personal style. It was a true honor to receive that award and the recognition that followed. The room was filled with artists and entrepreneurs doing incredible and impactful work, I was happy to be a part of it. And, although the thought of receiving an award for something like best dressed seemed strange (I was a little embarrassed by the whole thing) my friends and family, along with the some of the other nominees and guests at the ceremony, ensured me that through my work and community involvement, I am making a significant impact and for that, I should be proud. Which, I am. I only remember a few words of my speech, but I do know I spoke in the moment and from the heart, I received many compliments for my speech and even more for my lovely companion, my daughter Sofia who held my hand as I accepted the award.

The Style Awards take place during Style Week Pittsburgh. An annual event, now in it’s third year, Style Week Pittsburgh, celebrates fashion, business and the arts through various events and gatherings. This year, I was not only nominated for a Style Award, I am also supporting the event as a Style Week Pittsburgh Ambassador.

 

Friday

Friday brings another Style Week Pittsburgh event, Pinstripes and Pearls. As an Ambassador I try to attend and support all of the events. I’m especially looking forward to tonights event being held at Luxe, a beautiful luxury kitchen and bath showroom in East Liberty. My husband is also the DJ for this event, which always makes for a good time.


Saturday 

This Saturday I’m taking time for family. The ladies will all gather to celebrate my niece who is expecting her first child. I’m honored the girls and I get to take part in such a special and momentous occasion.  Saturday evening is back to work, preparing for an event Sunday, a workshop next week, completing proposals and finalizing business plans for the fall and winter.

 

Sunday

I am looking forward to the closing event for Style Week Pittsburgh, Brunch En Blanc. I’m hosting this event at my gallery and looking forward to guests mingling in this space. The current exhibition is Moving Language work by my friend and fellow Style Award Nominee for “Best Artist”, Sarah Zeffiro. The event will also feature hat designer Gina Mazzotta, a very talented milliner and…a former steelpan player, you know I love that!

 

All in all this will be a busy weekend to complete an extremely busy and emotional week. Alongside all of the exciting events and business ventures occurring, this week I also learned a lot about human behavior. I learned people are not always grateful and humbled by my kindness and support and although I dedicate time to support them with their goals, is it not always appreciated and I may be hurt in the process. I also learned that my children are not as important to the some friends and family members as I thought, or maybe hoped. And, although I love them more than I can explain, my girls can be easily disregarded and left out without any hesitation or remorse by those who should love them. 

Those two lessons alone were a lot for me to absorb. It’s hard to imagine that when you give your love, support or time to someone that they will turn around so quickly and insult you with their awful behavior. Sometimes, with complete disregard for you or those close to you. I won’t say these experiences don’t hurt me, because they do, but I do always try to stay positive. For me, it’s not only the act that hurts, it’s also the realization that people behave so badly, even when showered with kindness. I believe that ultimately, we are all good and we all want to do good things. Sometimes we make mistakes, but there is a deeper commitment to, and need for, care and concern for others. Right? I pray that I am right. 

So, for the sake of all, especially the young people watching and learning from us, let’s all try a little bit harder to change our bad traits and do better. If you cheat others, stop. If you’re inconsiderate, find ways to show others they matter to you. If you lie, begin to tell the truth, start with yourself. And, if and when you do wrong, recognize it and do what’s right. I’ve never been afraid of change and I know with the help of God, my faults today will not be my faults tomorrow. It takes honesty with yourself and lots hardwork, but, taking the path of self improvement is an exceptional journey where you will receive as much if not more than you give. 

Be kind to yourself and one another.  

 
 

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You’ve Got A Friend

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I’ve witnessed a very strange phenomenon. When I first saw this as a young girl I was utterly confused. I had to go home and ask my mother about it because I just didn’t understand. And still now, years later, I still find myself discussing this phenomenon with, yes, my mother. It’s so strange and so puzzling that I want to know more, but so strange and so puzzling that I’m afraid to. By now I’m sure you are totally intrigued to find out what I’m talking about. Right? Well, this truly strange thing isn’t really a thing, it’s more like a behavior. A behavior which seems to plague mostly women and young girls.

The behavior is… the need to bad talk one another, more importantly, those we call friends. My confusion lies between the behavior and the fact that we turn around and are friendly with that person, really friendly. We see it all of the time on shows like “The Real Housewives.” One scene they’re bad talking someone and the next, they’re hosting a dinner party and all are invited. I feel like shows like that have given me a better sense of how some women behave. I mean, you can really learn a lot from reality television, I have. We’ve all had not so kind words for someone, whether we’ve been hurt by them, or just don’t like them, we have opinions and feelings that we want to, sometimes have to share. I think that’s common and for the most part, okay. The part that has always confused me, the part that is the phenomenon, is the act of turning around and pretending to be friends. That’s the part I don’t get. Why would you want to be friends with someone you think so little of? I love my friends, they are all wonderful people in their own way, and have qualities that I admire, not despise.

I joke a lot about “my time in the suburbs”, the year I spent between having my third child and starting my business. The time in my life that I will never forget, and not for good reasons. I learned so much about women, behavior and friendships. I thought I had seen it all, working in the retail industry, you experience a lot, both from the customer end as well as employees. I hadn’t seen a thing. These women taught me that what you see is not what you get. It took me a while to figure it out, but once I learned, I was out. At first, I was constantly shocked by the behavior of some of these women, literally ripping someone to shreds, then inviting them over to their home for playdates and evenings drinking wine. I just couldn’t understand it. After a while, it was too much to watch. How do you know who to trust if the same people that offer to pick your kids up and invite you over for parties, are the same ones speaking, sharing, making up (there was a lot of that too) terrible things about you? The answer is you don’t. They weren’t all this way but there were definitely some major offenders.

I’ve been told that I’m lucky to have such self- confidence and pride. I do consider myself very lucky in that way, blessed actually. I believe that people with a good sense of self, pride and self-confidence, act a certain way. You see the world and your place in it very differently than someone with low self-esteem. Therefore, you conduct yourself differently and,  you’re always looking at how you can improve and be a better person. My rule is, you can truly be nice to everyone, because it’s based on you, not them. For me, it takes nothing to smile and say hello. As my husband quickly determined when we first met. I do this everywhere I go, whether I know you or not. If I’m not very fond of you, the gestures will end there. On the other hand, if I invite you to my home, encourage my children to form a relationship with you and continue kind gestures, then I do really like you. That’s the part some women are missing, especially those “Real Housewives.” You should always be kind, and pleasant, even if you don’t like someone. However, if you’re going to be someone’s friend, spend time with their family, build relationships with their children, encourage your children to form relationships with their children, then make sure you truly like them. The people you spend most of your time with, should be the most special to you. If you can turn around and insult their looks, lifestyle, husband, or children (yes I’ve heard it all) they’re not your friend, and…you’re certainly not there’s.

I think most of us know who our real friends are because great relationships feel a certain way. My truest and most important friend is my husband. In addition, I consider myself very lucky to have a few great friendships. I know it can be difficult to have just one.

Once you have that feeling of comfort, joy, and most important trust, it’s so hard to settle for anything less.